Fast Jazz
Arms flap and hands slap as Chaz plays bass. Asthma Jack plays sax, larynx ajar. That cat can play – alas, Jack’s always a tad fast. Jack’s a fallback; Chaz’s standard sax man has anthrax.
Sadly, Chaz lacks cash and barman can’t pay band. Man has ass all: a gang attack. Chaz and Jack play anyway. That’s jazz. Chaz’s band always packs Badlands Bar.
‘Alarm! Narcs!’
Blackjack cards fall. Tankards arc. Fracas. Brawl.
Jack casts sax away and scrams.
Hah! Asthma Jack, always fast. Chaz, angry and adamant, stays and plays. A lawman acts flagrantly and backhands Chaz. Panama hat falls. Chaz sways, stands fast.
‘Aw, man!’ says Chaz – bass has cracks. ‘Payback, jackass!’ Jazzman rams bass at law’s jaw. Snap!
Chaz grabs Jack’s sax and slaps tarmac, past tramp and away.
A dark archway. Cars pass. Spray.
À la barman, Chaz has ass all – sans bass, sans any damn cash.
At dawn, Jack walks past.
‘Asthma Jack!’
‘Chaz …’
‘Bastard!’ says Chaz.
Jack backtracks. ‘Alcatraz flashback, man. Jack’s a daddy, has a baby – always scrams at law’s call.’
‘Blah, blah. Hasty, man, always hasty.’
‘Hark,’ says Jack, all sly. ‘Barman’s gang attack? Blatant crap, man. Barman’s a charlatan, has scads.’ Adds aslant: ‘Had scads.’
Jack fans cash.
What an ass. Chaz, all sarcy, drawls, ‘Abracadabra – a sax.’
‘My sax!’
‘Nah, man – my sax.’ Chaz jabs a palm. ‘Pay.’
Jack balks. Chaz lacks all sympathy.
‘ ‘kay, ‘kay.’ Jack hands Chaz clams and paws sax.
Chaz walks away. ‘Stay classy, man.’
Jack lags, says, ‘Any plans?’
‘Chaz’ll sashay – a faraway land.’
‘Arkansas? Alabama?’
‘And hazard Klan? Nah. Maryland. Can catch crawdaddy, amass cash as a farmhand. And play jazz. Chaz’ll ask a sax man that can’t play fast.’
© 2018 Richard Salsbury
3rd place in the London Independent Story Prize (LISP) second quarter 2018
Fast Jazz is a univocalic, or univocalism, in ‘A’. This is a form of writing invented by French experimental writing group Oulipo, in which only a single vowel can be used, and all other vowels are forbidden. I’ve allowed myself to use ‘y’ as well as ‘a’ because the whole exercise was hard enough in the first place!